whoa, whoa, WHOA.

I have a crush and it makes me all giddy on the inside.
Pahaha, fucking lame ass is what I am, oh well. I'm happy :3

On another note, the below entry proved to be a HORRIBLE mistake, not really sure what the smiley face was about because that was definitely the opposite of how the situation turned out.
You still don't know what I'm talking about, but that's okay because it just works out better this way.  Anyways, I think you're out of my life for good, which is...well good. Actually it's great, I couldn't be more thrilled.  Now if it would just stay that way.

Next subject; still not sleepy, so I once again find myself surfing the interweb, wasting my time.  I should be doing something productive, obviously I decided not to.  Although, writing on here seems productive enough for me.  I almost feel crazy for even bothering to write on this thing anymore.  People don't get on xanga anymore, or very few do, I feel like I'm just writing to hear myself, or something.  I don't know, I'm okay with that.  Maybe I am crazy, whatever. Anyways, my birthday is in 8 short days, and I'm quite excited, even if I will only be twenty.  It still makes me feel more adult-ish, to be out of my teens at least.  Then one more year til the big two-one.  What a scary thought o.O I think Ryan is throwing me a birthday party at his apartment so I am pretty stoked on that.  All my birthdays have been pretty lame since after I turned 16.  I guess nothing could really top the weekend-long moon bounce in the backyard and apparently every other year after that wasn't important. Whatevaa.

On a completely different note, school is starting back in a few months, literally. Shitty to think so when everyone just graduated.  Time flies though, it's crazy. My days are spent in and out at CVS mostly, or with Jamie or Jesse, or both. Hahaa. But the days just seem like they go so fast now.  I don't know if I'm ready for school again, I have no clue what I want to do...still.  I feel so pressured to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life NOW and that just sucks.  I'm barely going to be twenty and I am expected to know what I want to do for the rest of my life? No.  People veiws and interests and whatnot change throughout time, so to me this is a very unrealistic goal, for now. So stop telling me I need to figure this out right now because of the fact that I am about to be twenty and in my second year of college, ick. I love you dad,  but please leave me alone.

that is all.

OOPS,

I did it, again. 
Actually, you did. 
And you have absolutely no clue what I am talking about.

:]

I'm Bringing it back.

Just watch, Xanga will become the new Myspace/Twatter/Facefuck whatever.
Except probably not.

I wonder if anyone even reads this, or notices the link in my profile.
If you did, good for you.  If not, yeah.  That's all I really have to say about that.
I just read through some really old entries and I can't believe some of the shit I actually wrote about.  I mean seriously, and the way i would tYPe tHiNgs lyKe thIs, like no.  It's almost embarrassing...no scratch that, it IS embarrassing, but we all did it so I guess it doesn't really matter.  It was still funny none the less.  I enjoy reading my past entries though, it's interesting. It's funny to think about all the people I ever mentioned in those entries and how my encounters with them have changed so much over these many many years. And I'm even more amazed that six years later (yeah that's right, I have had a Xanga for 6 whole years, sad? Probably.) I am STILL updating this thing.  Even if it's very rare that I do, and when I say very rare I actually mean even more rare than that, if you catch my drift. 

Anyways, I'm waiting for my stupid sheets to dry, and  well,I have a slight case of insomnia which isn't much of a surprise.  I wanted to go read some of my book (which I probably will after this) but I decided to reminicse (spelling? fuck it, you know what I mean) on my past, which wasn't a completely horrible choice.  Hopefully by now, my writing has somewhat developed and I don't sound like a stupid pre-tween girl, as much.  I have my moments, but nothing more. 

I have much more interesting things to write about, but right now I am just too damned lazy to divulge my whole life on here, but slowly I am sure I will.   I feel like I used to write in this for others and their entertainment, and now, I'm just writing it for my own.  But that's why I like you Xanga, because no one bothers to read you anymore.  It's like I could have a million secrets spilled out onto here, but no one would ever really know.  Except for you, yeah I'm talking to you, the one who is reading this.

Oh the possibilities.

It has been 1449 days since I have belonged to Xanga.

Everything is such a clusterfuck with me ALL the time
Oh me, oh my.

April update.

So March, yeah, it wasn't exactly the highlight of my life.  Hopefully nothing can get worse than it did then.
Graduation is in about a month, a little over that but close enough.
And, well I'm going to be legal in 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days.  But who's counting?

I don't know how I feel about this adult thing.